I’m certainly not an expert on this whole dad thing. After 4 boys and 23 1/2 years, every day is a different challenge. I am pretty sure of this though, one of the most important things I can do for my kids is to love their mom!

The truth is that moms are better moms when they are loved by the other adult in the house. When they feel appreciated, supported and secure, they are free to love and invest in their kids with abandon.

This all came to my mind last night as my wife and I went out on a Dinner Cruise on Lake Michigan in honor of our 26th anniversary. I have to admit that I enjoy being with Kris more than I ever have. After our years together, we have so much more to talk about and share. And we still surprise each other from time to time.

How do you grow in your love for you wife?
1) Appreciate her. I don’t mean just saying thank you after dinner. But recognize the value of all she brings to your home. She has different passions, priorities, ways of thinking, which broaden and deepen your family. Appreciate that hers is a volunteer love that she renders in practical ways each and every day.

2) Stay intrigued by her. What is she thinking and why? How does she look at the same thing I’m looking at and see something completely different? Why in the world would she put up with someone like me and seemingly like it? After all these years, there are still things I don’t know about her. And I find out that some things I thought I knew I was wrong about! Wow – how can that be after all these years?  That is a mystery that should be enjoyed!

3) Laugh together. Laughing at ourselves and at one another is part of our routine. That’s okay, life can’t always be that serious. Don’t use humor to pick on each other. And if someone is a little sensitive, then make sure you’re laughing at things that all can laugh at. I must do a lot of goofy things because my wife and kids remember them all – and laugh.

4) Do new things together. Go try something that neither of you do well. Learn together. Grow together. Take a class. One of the most fun things we did a couple of years ago was to take dance lessons before our sons wedding – yikes! We had a blast. And our kids were totally embarrassed when we were practicing the cha-cha on the driveway (an added bonus).

5) Pray for her. Remember that she struggles with the same worries, insecurities and temptations that you do. She needs God’s help and your support to encourage her through each day.

If you’re a wife, or mom, what would you add to the list? Dads and husbands, what are some things you’ve done to grow in your love for that significant woman?  Please add your comments to this page!

P.S. For Dad’s who have already experienced divorce, separation or maybe you’ve never been married to the mom of your kids… For the sake of your kids, be a great Dad by still showing support for their mom. God has given your kids the command to obey and honor their mother. Whether or not she’s doing everything right, or whether or not she’s been fair to you, that’s their job. Your example will make it easier or harder for them to obey God. I pray you’ll find the strength to make it easier.